Ugh I have so much bottled up stress & frustration & sadness & anger. I fucking hate it. Fighting with my boyfriend & little does he know my dad might have cancer. He’s on the verge of cancer. Like wth, he has enough medical problems already. School’s a bitch. Fuck this.
I hope you know I care more about you than anyone in this world, I figured you’d see that.
Ok tears are going away, thank you.
Just tell me what’s wrong, I hate this.
Like more than anything.
Hate this feeling right now.
I have the biggest sweetheart of a boyfriend. I have to be the luckiest girl in the world. There’s no one who can make my day any better than he can. We have inside jokes, we can tease each other and have serious conversations about anything and at the end of the day I know he loves me just the same. He makes me feel so safe and comfortable and good about myself. He knows exactly how to win me over, and over, and over, and over. The other day we were at my house & he’d kiss me & say I’m beautiful and then kiss me, then “gorgeous” and another kiss, “sexy, hot, smart, nice” and kisses in between each word talking about me. I’m in the greatest mood when I’m around him & he’s just my other half. He bought me flowers today. Why? I don’t know. No occasion, not my birthday. Nothing. He just bought me flowers without a reason other than to make me happy and it sure worked. I’m beyyyyond in love with this boy.
(Source: terriela, via convalescens)
Been in such a good mood lately.
Playing volleyball again. Only with school but it feels unreal to be back on the court, I love it. I kind of wish I would have stayed playing travel though. I would’ve been so much better. Regardless, I’m glad I’m playing again.
My boyfriend just seems to amaze me, more and more every single day. Our relationship is perfect. I mean PERFECT. There’s probably nothing that I don’t like about it. I’m so comfortable around him & can just be myself & not worry about embarrassing myself or anything. We play wii, we were play wrestling today & we can just be goofballs around each other. At the same time, he’s such a sweetheart & is always putting a smile on my face. I’m pretty sure we just sat & talked for an hour today. We talk about everything & I can tell him anything. He’s my best friend and I am absolutely in love with him. It’s only been 3 months but it feels like sooo much longer and I’ve never felt like this about a guy before.
I am absolutely disgusted with my body.
So many people just piss me off lately. Like everyone.
I feel like I need a therapist because I want someone to talk to. I can talk to my friends and what not but I need someone with a clean slate. Who knows nothin about me yet & it’s their job to listen to my problems. I need to vent to someone & them tell me what to do or just that I’m going to be okay.
The past 2 or 3 days have been hell for me. I’m stressed out with school work between bio, math & leadership. It doesn’t seem to be a lot at first but I’m starting to get loaded. I score keep volleyball, practice with the boys team AND coach a 13u team twice a week.
On top of this I had a pregnancy scare. Or am in one. Idk what’d you’d say. I’ve been on birth control for 12 days, had sex with my boyfriend & the condom broke so we were obviously panicking. I called a healthline & try said we have nothing to worry about but I’m still gonna worry. I’m really worried & I try not to show it. My boyfriend hasn’t been his self lately since it happened. It just seems different now & I hate it. I’m afraid of losing him cause he’s made me the happiest girl I’ve been since about the beginning of grade 10. I don’t want him to leave me or us get in fights all the time. And now I’m in a situation where I almost have to choose between him & my friends which sucks cause I hate having to choose between them. I’ve been on the go everyday of the week for about the past 2 weeks. And now I’m over stressed. I’m in the same situation I was last year with all my stress. I have way too much on my plate. I don’t wanna go to school anymore or anything. I just wanna lay in bed all day & sleep. I have no motivation. I don’t show this. I don’t want people knowing I’m upset or annoyed or just tired. I’m tired of being stressed & being busy. I want this weekend all to myself. I wish this weekend my parents would be gone so I could have the house to myself & my boyfriend could just come & cuddle & be with me like we always do. I need love right now. Not sex, just someone to love me & tell me everything is going to work out.
Had such a good day today. Family came over for thanksgiving/my birthday (which is actually tomorrow, but celebrated it today) My boyfriend came today too and they absolutely loved him! He got along so well with my little cousins which is important to me. Got a lot of great presents and just had a good time. I have so much to be thankful for.
Me and one of my used-to-be best friends had drifted apart last year & never really talked over the summer. We never fought or anything, we just kind of stopped talking & it’s been awkward in our classes ever since. I’ve tried to make small efforts to talk to her & what not, and it hasn’t really done much. But today, we were partners in gym for fitness testing and were joking around & laughing because the teacher told us not to laugh so she laughed and she started drooling & I burst out laughing. Then at lunch me & my boyfriend were talking & he asked if her & her ex boyfriend were back together & I told him that I didn’t know because we didn’t really talk anymore so he texted her from my phone & asked her. So she turned around from the table she was sitting at & I kinda made an awkward face so she came over & we actually had a good conversation about it, like we usually would. Thank god for my boyfriend for doing it, so I hope it’s not as awkward anymore between the 2 of us cause I actually miss having her as a close friend.
Love my boyfriend more and more each and everyday. He’ll sit with me at lunch & hold my hand when we walk around school. Today after school we were waiting for his mum to pick us up & we were sitting doing our homework & I was helping him & we just sat there quietly doing our homework and it was nice. We talked just like best friends, about sports & friends and just normal, casual conversation without having to put in the effort. It all just comes natural; we don’t have to struggle to talk to each other & ask stupid questions or say stupid things to start a conversation.
